Monday, July 20
Big girl panties day. Left laid-back Lost Valley and came to big city Eugene. Have spent a few hours fiddling with Chickenomics website and Gypsy Tour blog — ALL BY MYSELF!!! No Carlos handholding (doing it for me). I had been stalling like crazy with launching Chickenomics, having decided it was one of my dumber ideas. Sunday afternoon before leaving on roadtrip, Carlos — six inches from my face — had said not once, but twice “Grow Up Cynthia” — and took Chickenomics live. Crap Carlos, I outrank you, you’re only 21!
Little by little, I’m learning new skills, including patience and compassion for myself first and foremost. BTW, its damn hot here in Eugene. Outa here, back to the country, go lookin’ for some hot springs.
Near first thing I saw dropping into Eugene. Garden shop Petunia wall! Only about one-third of it here. Very fragrant. Swoon!
Tuesday, July 21
I am moving to the PNW, I know that, have been saying that, for some time now. Somewhere Oregon – Washington, by this time next year, or sooner. Fertile soil, green and blue,green and blue. New friend Beau, Anacortes, WA, knows this region like the back of his hand. We’ve talked some about various, towns, and communities. Before I left, Beau was kind enough to send maps highlighting places to visit beginning in and around Eugene, up through I the Portland corridor; and on up into the Seattle – Bellingham region. I hope to do that.
For now, I am drawn to the forests, mountains, rivers, and lakes of the Willamette National Forest east of the Eugene- Portland corridor. So here I am, camping by the McKenzie River, near Cougar Reservoir, campground to myself.
I am reminded in my search for a new home, that the “home” contains “om” or OM, the vibration is said to be the sound frequency of the universe. Greg Braden describes how the molecules in our bodies vibrate at a frequency equivalent to that of the Earth’s “base pulse”.
I am going, OMing my way home, to whom I have always been, this life, past lives.
“You only have to let the soft animal of my body loves what it loves.” — Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”.
The Dali Lama in “Never Give Up” encourages us to spend less time in the thinking mind, and more time cultivating the heart.
NEVER GIVE UP
No matter what is going on, never give up. Develop the heart. Too much energy in your country is spent developing the mind instead of the heart. Be compassionate, not just to your friends but to everyone. Be compassionate. Work for peace in your heart and in the world. Work for peace and I say again, never give up. No matter what is happening, no matter what is going on around you, never give up.
Two hours up, one hour back, ride on the forest service country road largely paralleling the McKenzie River on my new hybrid girl step through frame, sit upright, wide handle bar, bike. This would have been a great road for my elite Della Santa road bike, but there was much more to this ride than physical performance. What kept coming to mind was “Tennessee”. You see, both parents are first generation off of Tennessee farms; my grandparents Hazel and Lonnie Mitchell, and Edgar and Elizabeth Carroll.
“You may not be what everyone needs, but you touch my soul, which is good enough for me.” — Mindy Smith, Long Island Shoes, song “Tennessee”.
I was in need of country roads — a place and time to ride upright, shoulders back, chest open; observe and appreciate more, develop the heart. The road through mossy ferny forest so dense in places I could only hear, not see, the McKenzie. Fir (mostly) and cedar (also) trees so big I could not reach my arms around. Green green green; hearing the blue.
A small mouse had closed its eyes for the last time on the road. Riding slower, more upright, I let myself circle round and move it to the side.
I wanted, needed, more. Alright then, Road bike next, same forest service country road. Faster, harder, further. I was impressed. I had worked it the first time on my girl hybrid, and, apparently was going to do it again. Both times at the turnarounds, balancing upright I could open my wings — bird, butterfly, flower fairy; gently OMing my way back to camp.
Back on hybrid and pedal my way the short distance to Cougar Hot Springs. Three large pools spilling down a narrow canyon, developed enough for access and use. Simply, utterly, beyond beautiful.
Wednesday, July 22
Made it down the road a bit Tuesday evening to next hot springs, Belknap, and delightful sweet family oriented resort with beautiful gardens and electricity, water, showers. Found out high school / college therapist Javier had passed at 81. McKenzie bridge, not quite half-moon, thinnest night haze – chocking sobs. Every week sessions initially with Javier my senior year high school; less frequent but ongoing over time.
Javier early one: “Cynthia, you can’t quit until I say you are ready. Too many people get ‘a little fixed’ and stop. The problems and issues re-emerge, cycle through, create negative patterns ad grooves for a lifetime. You have to stay till I tell you.” So I did, for I believe five years. Over time he and dear wife and therapist Karol also saw my mother, father, and brother. So much wisdom and insight; keeping me (mostly) on the right side of the railroad tracks. He mentored me, parented me, loved and cared for me. Karol also became a dear friend. Fundamental, elemental, both Javier and Karol in my life. We mostly stayed in contact, stayed friends, all these years.